Thursday, September 02, 2010

Friendship is A Party

I am now really pissed.

In my 23 year of life, I have never give so much effort to a relationship called friendship.
and believe me, I have a lot of friends.
and my friends come from all around the world.
But I never give so much effort to a friendship like what I have been doing in the last few months.

To be honest with you, I don't consider myself as a good friend.
The way I see a friendship is like a party.
You come to a party, you have fun, and then you left with the memory of that party.
You may not be able to find another party as much fun as the first one, but you can always go to a different party. and there will be a lot of parties in the world.
And just like in a party, you may have to help out on preparing the party. Sometimes, you may have to create your own party, you have to be the host. Or some other time, you have to make an effort to bring something to a party, chip in a little. Some food, snacks, sodas, or even wine. Sometimes, you even have to stay longer after the party, help the host clean up the after party mess.

I don't even know if I create the best analogy in the world.
but the point is that I always see friendship as a fun thing to have.
I never take a vow to always be there for my friends for better or worse.
I also never expect my friends to be there for me, for better or worse.

So when I came across to this particular person, I was in shock.
I never really gave that much effort in a friendship other than giving it all out to this so-called friend of mine.
this person expect me to be understanding, to be helpful, and to be as sensitive as I could be.
and when I try to become the person that I was expected to become, my effort was never recognized.
and when I was too tired to even try, I was getting blamed.

I mean, I know that friendship is not always fun, just like party.
There are some part of friendship where everyone needs to chip in and help each other, just like party.
But if you are willing to host a party, do you expect your guest to bring something to the party?
If you answer yes to that question, you are a very insincere host.
Everytime you throw a party, you don't expect your guest to help you out.
If you need help, you asked your guests politely for help, you don't expect your guests to help.
If you don't ask your guest for help, then your guest end up not helping out at your party, you don't talk trash about it. You accept it.
Then when you throw another party, you should state it directly that you actually need some help.

That leads us to my whole point.
when you decide to befriend with someone, you don't expect that friend is gonna hang around forever by your side.
You don't expect that friend is gonna help you whenever you are in need.
When you end up expecting so much from your friends, you are gonna be disappointed, eventually.

And another point of me writing this is that I am sorry I can't meet everyone's expectation to become a great friend.
oh wait, actually, I am not sorry that I don't meet everyone's expectation.
I have explained my theory of friendship and how I see friendship as it is supposed to be.
that is what I believe in.
I am nothing but perfect.
If you're still wanna be one of my friends, you can take it, or just simply leave it.

then again,
after 23 year of living, I really think that being independent is the key of living.
The sentence "every man for himself" is the bible of life.
and no, you can never really trust another person.


Anonymous said...

jadi gitu al?



*lari ke arah matahari terbenam sambil nangis bombay*


alienkeren said...

tom: iya. emang gitu tom.
so, would you take it or leave it?

.de'doot. said...

aku juga bukan menjadi seorang teman yang baik..
jadi, kamu mau temenan sama aku ngga?

alienkeren said...

de: lah? aku kan udah bilang aku sih niatnya nyari temen buat seneng-seneng, kalo kamu mau seneng-seneng, ya boleh temenan sama aku.
btw, tulisan ini ditujukan buat temen-temen aku, biar bisa milih...

mujahidah90 said...

hehe, baru baca blog alien lagi.
sepakat al. friendship is a party. kalo kita belum pernah melakukan 3 hal ini:
1) makan bareng
2) menginap bareng
3) melakukan perjalanan panjang bareng

kalo 3-3nya udah kita lalui dengan teman, apalagi sesama orang islam, maka kita bukan lagi sekedar teman, tapi "mukmin itu bersaudara"

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