Thursday, June 29, 2006

I think I wrote aboutthis before...

I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure that I wrote about this before...
whatever, I just wanna write it once again...

I was really angry to my mom tonite.
I'm not sure what happened to her but she was all cranky today.
It all probably started this morning, when she called home and found out that my driver was actually not home. She became furious. my driver actually kinda sneak out on going to some place, he didn't tell me and didn't let my mom know. so when she found out about him going, she was mad.
but she was okay when she talked to me this afternoon. SHe was mad, but not at me, so it was all good.

I got home tonite at 7.30 pm. I was little late, I know,but it was becoz I had to wait up for a friend. She wanted to go home with me and she asked me to wait for her. and I did wait for her.
at around 8 pm, my mom called to my cell phone. When she said her first sentence, which was, "where r u now?" I knew that her mood was wrecked.
at first, I was easy on her. she probably had a rough day or something.
I said, "I'm at home. what's up?"
and then she asked me, "What time did u arrive at home?"
I answered, "7.30 pm."
she asked again, "how come u're home late?"
that question made me sure that she was in a really bad mood.
I said, "I had to wait up for some friends who wanted to go home together with me." and I knew that she wasn't gonna buy me.
she asked me to do couple things... and she asked me some stuff...
when she asked me whether I have anything to tell her, I knew she didn't mean it. It was just a routine that she does. the fact is, she didn't really wanna listen to me at that time. So I said that I didn't have anything else to say to her.
and finally, it all came to this: she asked me, "when u come to Jakarta tomorrow, please bring me my clothes, the dark and light brown one. don't forget to bring the pants too."
I said, "wait, let me just check in your closet."
so I went to her bedroom and check on her closet. I don't see any dark or light brown suit.
I asked her, "which one?"
she said, "there's one dark brown and one light brown blouse plus the pants."
"What are they looked like? are they with emboirdey?" I asked.
she said, "Of course it's with embroidery!"
"I don't see any brown blouse or brown pants here."
"That's impossible. Or... probably I put them in Alia's closet?"
"I'll see..." I checked on my sister's closet, but there are more than two brown blouses there. "Which one are you looking for again?"
"How come u can't find it?! I remember put it on the very side of the cupboard!"
"Is it the one which emboirdery only in the hands and the blouse looks plain?"
"No! it's not that one! the embordery coveralmost every inch of it."
.... I was silent, looking thru her clothes. It wasn't like she only own 2 brown blouse.
"Fine! if you don't find it, forget it!!!" she yelled at me.
I was surprised. it was so useless to yelled at me. what the hell was she trying to say? she didn't have to yell at me!
I was trying to be calm. She IS my mother.
"Whatever you want..." I tried to say it as casual as I can.
"Udah lah! gak usah dicari lagi! lama! pulsa nih!"
when she said that, I was shocked! It's not like she's the one who has to pay for her own cell phone!!!
I was silent. I was angry too. why did she yelled at me? so I can't find her clothes, so what? it's not like she only has 2 clothes!
I was gonna hung up the phone but I know that it's very unpolite. so I waited for her other instructions.
"Ya udah lah!!!" she yelled once again.
I was really angry!!!
so my mom had a bad day, so what????
it doesn't mean she could yelled at me as she like! just becoz I couldn't find her clothes!
she's so childish!
I thought when u're getting older, u automatically become more mature. but she didn't seem like it!
I hate it!!!
I knew she probably couldn't let her anger out all day, I knew probably her blood tension rise, but it doesn't mean that she could just blurt out her anger to just anyone! because of any little, simple mistake!!!
I really wanted to say to her, "mom, grow up!"
If she was angry with someone, she didn't need to blurt out her anger on me.
I really hate it when she's angry!!!

for one quick second, I had a thought in my mind, "this is why I wanted to go out of this country, faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr away from my family... besides I don't wanna be a baby with all of my dad's money, it's not healthy to stay too long with my mom anymore..."
It's not that I have a disease or my mom has a disease. but we both are hard on everything. My mom has a sense of control. it's in her blood. and me, I hate being controled now, esp. with my mom. and everytime I refuse to be controled, my mom got upset and angry to me. and then I got upset and angry to her. and it'll never gonna end.
I'm basically on holiday now for a few weeks and so does my sister. we practically spent more time with mom and it was just not right.
she was easily got angry. she became very sensitive. she yelled and screamed. and everything went wrong. and she has to do or get what she wanted. her plan was the best.
she become more childish...
I feel that if we don't see each other very often, or relationship is better. and if I'm far away from her, she pays more attention...

only for your information, as u read this and as I wrote this, I'm not angry with my mom anymore. I wasn't upset to her anymore. so that you know, I wrote this as honest as I can. and I'm trying to write what I feel. and what I think happens...

no matter how bad I hate my mom sometimes, she's still the best mom in the universe!
and I love her...

p.s. but I still wanna get away from my family.... or any other family... I wanna live on my own... soon!!!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

My Prom

Last night, was a blast!!!
Yeah, last night was my prom night. It was great!!!
I mean, I’ve been to three prom nights so far and they were all great…

My first prom night was actually Lisa’s prom night when we were in Canada. It was Luther College High School’s prom night. And it wasn’t even called a “prom night”, it was a graduation.
What I remembered from it was Lisa looked great. And everybody looked great. They were all dressed up. I wear brown kebaya and a brown long skirt, sarong like. I didn’t wear any make up, if that’s what u’re wondering about. I only knew like a handful number of ppl, but I had a great time. Almost everybody came with their escorts and Lisa took me as her escort. Imagine if Lisa really took a guy to her graduation to be her escort, Helen was probably all freaking out. They called up all the graduans one by one, which were only 88 of them, which was a really small class esp. when you compare it with my school in Indonesia. They say great things about the graduans, it was really sweet. And then we had dinner. After that many people gave many speeches… and it wasn’t all boring and made you all sleepy. Some of it was funny… and then we danced. It was fun to dance… and my feet were sore… but, what I love the most about that prom night was the chocolate fondue!!! Ohh… I just couldn’t resist it! I was hoping that they have it again in my last night prom, but it was like the impossible thing to wish for…

My second prom night was my own prom night when I was in Canada, Arhcbishop M.C. O’Neill High School’s prom night. Same with the Luther College, and I think same with any other high school in Canada, we didn’t call it a “prom night”, we call it a graduation night. It was great! Trust me! As ppl who went to any other prom, me and my friends got all dressed up. Many of my girl-friends wore lovely gown. Everybody was all pretty and handsome. Many of my friends showed up with limos, and one of my friends even came out with a carriage, just like in the fairytales… really sweet. That day, I wore a long spagethi straps dress with a long sleeve jacket, kebaya like. Lisa made my hair; she tied half of it with and elastic band and put the corsage Dorothy gave me in my hair. Some ppl said that I look pretty and I was glad… I sat on a table together with my friend, Lisa Piotrfsky and her family. We had a buffet meal, so we took as much food as we wanted. And they were all delicious. After dinner, some ppl gave speeches and toasts, and it wasn’t all boring and sleepy. After we all done with the meals and speeches and toast, they cleared out the tables to make room for the dance. But before the dance, we got ‘the grad walk’, which was what I love the most about my grad. So it was like all the grads walked to the dance room with or without their escorts and they played Switchfoot’s This is Your Life song as we walked. The feeling was incredible, eventhough I was only there of one full year of school, I kinda felt the bond between me and my school. The feeling of proud, sadness becoz we’re gonna say goodbye, happiness becoz we had great times together… after the walked we danced. And it was all good…

My third, and last prom in my life, was actually called a “prom night”. It’s SMA 3’s prom night and it was last night. The event called “La Revedere”, which I wonder what it means. The location was in a cafĂ© called “The View”, it was located in Dago Pakar area. My preparation for this was like a dream. Right after I did UAN, I thought about my dress, what I was gonna wear to the prom. I didn’t wanna wear just any kebaya or any dress I had. So I talked to my mom, we bought some materials and went to a tailor. When my dress was finally ready, I was satisfied. I really like it… It was a little bellows my knees length, a spagethi straps model too with asimetric line at the bottom, and it was red. I also wore a little white short sleeve jacket with some flowers embroider of red and black. My accessories were black; my earings, my necklace, my bracelet, my ring, my bag, and my shoes were all black. Me and some of my friends got together in my home in the afternoon just before the prom night to go together to the beauty salon to have our hair done and make up. It was fun… those girl stuff thingy… before we got to “The View”, me and my friends went to a photo studio and got our picture taken. Beautiful… when we finally got to the place, we ate dinner. I took a look around and almost every body was all dressed up. Some ppl were crazy enough and I think they had lost their sense of embarrassment that they wore very unpolitely unformal dress, both the girls and the boys. And then we watched some performance from the extracuriculars and I think they did great job. We took a walk after that, I also took pictures with my friends. I had to put a little bit of great effort to found Giri and asked him to take a pic with me. For ur info, Giri is my crush in the class, he’s handsome, cute, young, innocent, smart, beautiful, eventhough he’s not my prince charming… anyway, I took couple pics with him… after that, I went back inside and watched the performance of the bands. Some of them are really creative and they really can play some music. After all the bands played, we got this little advice, we took sometime to remember the memories, to cried in fact… but, of course I was too hard to break down and cry…

It was all great…

It reminded me that it was all my friends who help me survive my life in high school. Without them, I probably was all frustrated and wanted to kill all of my teachers in school. They were like things that help me stand and see the life. Eventhogh I was with them for only about 1 year, it seems like I’ve known them for a good 3 years.
Last night, when we were holding hands together, I had a thought for one second in my mind. This all about prom night thingy would probably better with my 2005 class friends. I’ve known them for so long and our bonding is probably stronger than what I have with my 2006 class friends. I quickly erase that thought, I should be thankful with all I’ve got. All of my friends are great… and now, I’m with my 2006 class friends and they’re not worse than my other friends… I had such great times with them… and I thank God for that…
I never thought that I would bond so much with them, becoz I was a newcomer in their class. But they were so welcome; they accepted me as I am. They tried to understand me… they’re like the best…

If someone asked me what I love the most being in high school, I’ll answer “the friendship”…

p.s. I once wrote in here about my all time crush. Last night, after I was all dressed up, he sent me a txt msg. he casually asked me where I’m gonna do the spmb and what my choice are for the exam. I was kinda surprised. I wonder if he didn’t realize that my friends were over at my house. We moved back and forth from my house to the salon, we had our hair done and our face were all full with make up. Didn’t he hear us? Didn’t he see me? So I answered his question casually. And I asked him whether or not he knows it was the prom night last night. And he was all, “hati2 ya pulangnya…”
and I screamed… I jumped on my heels… did he mean that? Really saying that? Did it show that he cares about me?
Or probably he didn’t mean anything…
Oh well… whatever… I was glad enough that he sent me a txt msg…

here are some pics about yesterday and last night....

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here's me and Giri at the prom night... he looks good, isn't he?
I said to him, "Giri, kamu gak the ladies' man banget sih..."
he said to me, "emangnya harus gimana?"
I laughed...

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me and my girl-friends... we all dressed up... we all looked good

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Giri and I again... at school after we got our medal...
he still looked good eventough you can't see his full face...

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me and some of my classmates after we got our medals... proud, eh?

Monday, June 26, 2006

The Pressure is ON!!!

yeah... the pressure is fucking on... and the spmb is officially started now...
my teacher said that SPMB actually start by the time u fill in the form to apply and return it...
so it's official for me now...

let's see it from the start...
Awalnya, gak ada yang namanya SPMB. awalnya, ITB (Institut Teknologi Bandung) baru satu2nya perguruan tinggi di Indonesia... dan awalnya, mau masuk ITB harus ikutan test ITB... terus, tambah banyak perguruan tinggi di Indonesia, akhirnya pemerintah ngebuat satu test sebagai ujian saringan bersama yang diikutin sama seluruh perguruan tinggi negeri di Indonesia dan seluruh siswa tamatan SMA atau yang sederajat di seluruh Indonesia...
Ujian saringan bersama buat masuk perguruan tinggi ini dibuat supaya penyaringan mahasiswa lebih efektif. Soalnya dibikin susah agar orang yang lulus adlh org2 pilihan. plus, test ini juga dibuat agar setiap universitas yang masih disubsidi ama pemerintah itu gak bikin test sendiri2 yang nantinya bisa mengakibatkan biaya pendidikan jadi mahal. padahal sejak awal kemerdekaan pemerintah pengen nyuruh semua orang buat sekolah. takutny kalau biaya pendidikan mahal, semua orang jadi gak mau sekolah. berabe kan? nah, makanya pemerintah ngebikin satu test untuk smua....
awalnya, nama ujiannya itu PP1... kepanjangan dari Proyek Perintis Satu. knp dinamain kayak gitu? sayangnya aku gak tau euy.... nanti aku cari tau dulu, baru aku kasi tau, okay?
PP1 juga aku gak yakin mulai dari taun brp sampe taun brp... yang pasti lmyn lama nama PP1 itu bertahan. trus jg, apakah ada PP2 atau PP3 atau PP selanjutnya, aku juga gak tau... and there's one phenomenal thing that actually happens! aku masih punya soal ujian PP1 mamaku!!! taun 1981 dan 1982!!! hebat kannnnn????
sayangnya, mamaku 2 kali ikutan PP1, tapi gak lulus dua2nya.... hehehe...
nah, apa yang membedakan PP1 dan test yg ada di masa depan? PP1 itu khusus dikerjain buat org2 yang kepengen msk ITB dan universitas negeri lainnya, kecuali IKIP-yang sekarang UPI. buat yg mau jadi guru dan kuliah di IKIP, testnya beda lagi.
enough for PP1. habis PP1, nama test bersama itu diganti jadi UMPTN, kepanjangan daru Ujian Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri. kenapa dinamain kayak gitu? mungkin dari kepanjangan namanya juga maksudnya udah dapet ditangkep ya... apa yang membedakannya dengan PP1 dengan UMPTN?
well, di UMPTN test-nya mulai di pisah antara IPA dan IPS plus IPC (Ilmu Pengetahuan Campuran). mulai UMPTN juga, smua perguruan tinggi ikutan, termasuk IKIP dan org2 yg mau jadi guru juga..
trus... trus... pas pemerintah udah bosen dengan nama UMPTN, pemerintah mengganti nama UMPTN dengan SPMB, mulai taun 2004 (kalo gak salah...), yang merupakan kepanjangan dari Saringan Penerimaan Murid Baru. lalu, apa bedanya SPMB dengan UMPTN? jawabannya: gak ada!
aneh ya?
lalu kenapa harus pake acara ganti nama segala? gak tau deh... pemerintahnya lagi pengen aja kali... hehehe

bukannya bermaksud menggurui... aku sih cuman berbagi ilmu sdikit aja... sapa tau ada diantara tmn2ku yg blum tau asal-usulnya spmb... gpp kan?

tapi beneran deh... mnurut aku sih, this whole SPMB thing is kinda weird.... for a very simple thing, why would u change a name of something if that thing doesn't actually change a little bit? it's so useless!!! every year, there are like more than 10000 Highschool graduans compete in this test. why? to get a cheaper education? I don't know... in my opinion, pelaksaan spmb itu sangat-sangat gak transparan. gimana caranya kita tau kita gak lulus? apa kita gak lulus karena kita bego? atau karena salah ngebuletin tanggal kelahiran doang?
blum lagi masalah ngantri buat ngebalikin formulirnya... nggak boleh diwakilin, harus pake pakaian rapi: gak boleh pake kaos dan sendal, kalo ngebaliin nggak pd tanggal yg disuruh hrs bayar denda, dll.
kesannya spmb tuh kyk dewa penentu masa depan kita...

ngomong2 soal ngantri ngbalikin formulir spmb... that was one experience that I wouldn't want to re-do it again... I am so not gonna do it again for the second time of my life.. never... ever. bayangin aja, aku dateng dan mulai ngantri spmb dari jam 10.30 pagi. di jadwalnya, sebenernya aku harus ngembaliin form jam 11.30. Aku pikir, okay, keburu kok. tau2nya... aku baru selesai jam 3 lebih! gila!!!! sinting!!! aku ngantri 5 jam!!!! enggak lagi2 deh ngantri kayak gitu!!! kayak orang gila aja!!!
trus kan, spt byasa, skolahku tuh paling eksis dimana2. termasuk di tempat ngantri spmb. gimana enggak, hari itu adalah hari pas smua anak sma 3 yg ikutan spmb buat ngembaliin form-nya. otomatis, antrian spmb itu didominasi sama kita. kita ngantri rame2, ribut, berisik, ngobrol, makan, nyela2 orang2 gak jelas, dll. rame sih... walau capek juga, at least u have friends with you... yang lucunya, pas aku lagi ngantri bukti lokasi aku ngerjain spmb, ada seorang cewek yang entah darimana asalnya nanya ke aku, "temen2 kamu mana?" aku agak kaget aja pas dya nanya gitu. maksud dia apa? dya tulus nanya gitu?
aku jawab aja, "nggak tau, tadi pas masuk sini kan kepisah2 gitu, jadi gak tau. udah diatas kali. emangnya kenapa? saya kan nggak akan mati tanpa temen2 saya."
Amni, sama2 anak sma 3 juga bilang, "Iya, nanti juga pas spmb sendiri..."
bener banget!!! dia kira, aku gak bisa hidup tanpa temen2 aku???
sori ya...
di setiap tempat baru yang aku datengin, aku bisa selalu dapet temen baru kok...

anyway, se-enggak setuju-nya aku sama spmb, aku ikutan juga kok... pengen ngerasain gmn sih deg-deg-annya org pas lg spmb... tapi sayangnya sampe sekarang aku blum deg2an tuh... pdhl spmb tinggal 10 hari lagi.... sebentar lagi...
kalo boleh jujur, dari kecil aku gak pernah mimpi ikutan spmb. maksudnya, aku mimpi kuliah di luar negeri (wuah, itu yg paling sering kyknya), aku mimpi kuliah di ITB, aku mimpi kuliah di UI, tapi aku gak pernah ngebayangin aku ikutan SPMB. What would it be like? is it gonna make me nervous? is it gonna be really hard???
sampe sekarang aja aku rasanya susah ngebayangin diri aku sendiri duduk di kursi dan di depan meja dan pusing2 ngerjain soal2 yang aneh2 itu....

yah... gak tau lah...
may I get what I need and not what I want...
wishmeluck, friends!

p.s. pilihan2ku buat SPMB 2006: pil. 1: Teknik Industri ITB (dsuruh papa), pil. 2: Fakultas Teknologi Sipil dan Lingkungan ITB (keinginan aku sendiri... aku pengen masuk teknik lingkungan!!!), pil. 3: Psikologi UI (oh... I've been dreaming about taking my degree in psychology... I really want it!!!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

15 things u probably never knew or thought about

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great

I got this kinda e-mail before, but I can't remember what I did to it...
anyway, I got another one... I think this is the same one...
the content still great.... just like the tittle... things that we never knew or thought about....

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

all bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay... I know everyone in Indonesia is busy talking about this.... everywhere!
they talk about this on tv, in the newspaper, in schools, in the course places, in the government office, esp. in the education department.
so what is 'this'?

'this' is the UAN result...
yeah, what else do u possibly think?

today, in IZI, one of my teacher said about one of my friends's marks on UAN. It's really high. he said my friend got 9.8 out of 10!!! wow!!! isn't that a really good mark?
I was a little surprise when I heard about that. suddenly I was wondering about how well did I do it... Coz I wasn't that sure about my marks... Like, I'm not sure that I'm gonna get all 10 for all my exams... esp. for math... I think the math exam was kinda hard... it wasn't as simple as last year, let's say....
so, I expected that I'm gonna get 6 out of 10 on my math exam... I was kinda sad, thinking about the marks that I possibly gonna get...

so, today, I went to my school, nervously, to see what do I get...
and I saw it... pages of marks of everybody in my school... and I could only said wow... almost everyone in my school got 9 for everything! I, my self, got 9.6 for Bahasa Indonesia, 9.2 for English (which I expected to be 10), and 8.33 for math...
and when I saw it, I thought... what was that??? was that real? did I do them by my self? did I really only make 2 mistakes in Bahasa Indonesia???
yah... guru IZI sih bilangnya nilai2 smua anak dari semua sekolahan di katrol abis-abisan kok... habisnya, masa yang dapet 6 bisa diitung pake jari sih??? aneh lah... well, mungkin gak begitu aneh, karena katanya anak2 SMA3 pinter2... tapi kan nilai2 UAN skarang sih keterlaluan.... pertanggungjawabannya gimana?

despite all the cheating that everybody does... bahkan anak2 SMA 3 juga kan main contek2an kok sesama temen2nya... at least kerja sama lah... kecuali aku dan beberapa temenku loh... kita malah sebel banget ngeliat org yg nyontek dan kerja sama.... SMA 3 itu tetep SMA negeri paling baik se-kota Bandung. I mean, anak2 SMA 3 tuh terkenal banget gara2 kepinterannya. kepinteran di berbagai macam hal aja, pinter ngomong, pinter organisasi, dan terutama pinter dlm akademis. setiap taunnya, nilai2 UAN anak SMA 3 gak terlalu wah memang, but we're like the best in the city!(except for last year, my friends kicked everyone's ass with their incredible marks!) every year, only private school like Aloysius or BPK. usually, we only compete with them to be the first in the city. but this year... guess what???

When I read the paper on June 19th, I was shocked! nilai rata2 Kabupaten Garut ngalahin nilai rata2 Kota Bandung!!! one thing I wanted to do was laugh. out freaking loud. I'm not being cocky or anything like that, but technically, we-city kids-are much more intelligent than them, and they beat us. unbelievable! I mean, I'm not sure if those Kabupaten Garut kids understand what I'm writing now.
another thing that made me schock was SMA 3 placed 7th in the city. Even SMA 24 beat us!!! that was criminal! I mean, honestly, this ppl in the education department were such fools! Never ever ever ever ever ever other public, govn't, school beat SMA 3! academically...
I was really angry....

I mean, it's really obvious that this all UAN thing is BULLSHIT!
really, would anyone in that stupid government wake up? try to understand the situation here, please...
let's see some proof right now...
on daily basis, anak2 SMA 3 blajar ttg berbagai macam hal yang lebih susah dan complicated daripada anak2 di skolah lain. nalar kita lebih jalan. nilai2 kita lebih jelek drpd anak2 di skolah2 lain, tp ilmu kita lebih banyak.
I'm talking about real thing here....
nah, nilai2 UAN anak SMA 3 itu ratanya udah 8,... dan dengan nilai rata2 yang segede gitu, SMA 3 ttp aja yg ke-7 se-kota Bandung. yang pengen aku tau, anak2 sekolah lain pada dapet berapa ya??? anak2 SMA 3 aja yang dapet 9-nya kayaknya lebih dari 3/4 dari jml satu angkatan kls 3. anak2 skolah lain gimana????
padahal ya, pas baru aja slese ngerjain UAN math, temen2ku pd bilang... "gila, soal matematikanya susah... gimana anak2 skolah lain ngerjainnya ya? kalo kita gak lulus, gimana sekolah lain ya?"
and what do we get as the result???

yang paling nyebelin dari keadaan ini semua adalah: ada 2 anak SMA 3 yang gak lulus sekolah!
honestly, that's impossible! that's BULLSHIT!!!
I mean, while everyone got 9 and there are these 2 ppl who got 3...
tell me about it!
kata pak Tata (my physics teacher), "Masa sekolah rancaoray aja lulus 100% tapi SMA 3 ada 2 orang yang gak lulus? itu kan gak masuk akal!"

now, semua anak yg gak lulus ngedatengin komnas anak... perjuangin hak mereka ("masa udah capek2 blajar 3 taun cuma gak lulus gr2 1 hari, gr2 1 pelajaran?")
LSM nuntut adanya ujian ulang....
wapres bilang, "no fucking way"
I say, "shut the fuck up!"


Monday, June 19, 2006


it's been so long since my last writing....
and why is that really ironic? well, there's this little bookstore in Bandung, called tobucil. it was a while ago that I saw this little pin/button there, it says "iBlog everyday".ironically, after I bought that pin/button, I've never write anything in my blog. I don't actually blog everyday...
that's so ironic...
y'know, now that I'm done with school, I thought I can really do it... I can actually write in my blog everyday... but now that I'm in the exact situation, I'm really busy... My sister's in her holiday and she wants me to company her everyday... if not, she's on the line, in the internet...

another ironic thing is this passing-the-high-school thingy.
today is the time when Indonesian high school kids know whether they're done with high school or not. whether they pass the UAN thingy (the thing that I wrote about in my previous post) or not. and I pass. I'm done with high school, done with school, thank God!
but it's not the matter that I pass UAN or not... coz I'm really confident that I'm gonna pass. the ironic thing is there are actually 2 ppl in my school that don't pass UAN. both of them actually have to re-do their gr.12 once again next year. I told you before about my school... despite the fact that my school sucks really bad, it is actually the best public school in the city. and there are actually 2 ppl that don't pass UAN. I mean, to enter my school, u have to be really smart and to be able to survive in my school, u have to be extra smart and extra diligent. (so, how come I can survive in my school again??? coz i'm neither smart nor diligent. anybody wanna remind me?)
okay, the ironic thing is, many schools that have worse quality of education have all of their students pass UAN, all graduate from high school. isn't it ironic?
I mean, I told u about all the cheating behind this UAN thingy... and I believe that all of 'those kinda' schools cheated... and they have all of their students graduate. my school, which UAN was held as honest as possible, has 2 ppl can't graduate from high school...

well, i know that there are so many things in this life that I can't control... but I'm just wishing that everything could happen like it's supposed to... y'know, in an honest way... forgetting that ironic stuff....
oh well... whatever happens happens...

oh ya... slamet ya buat teman2ku yg udah lulus USM ITB...
Nita, Yozzi, Wiput, Ninis, Giri (lucu banget sih kamu!!!), Arnaud, Azis, Monik, dll, yang belum aku tau tapi udah pada lulus...
slamat teman2!!!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Ujian Akhir Nasional (UAN)

I've been thinking about writing this for a very long time... but I just didn't have time to write it... plus, last night, I actually had time to write it and I wrote it down. just guess what happened?! I wrote all about it and it was gone! all becoz of this damn internet connection!!! I hate it just really bad!

anyway, what I was saying is, I wanna write about UAN-the shorten for Ujian Akhir National-in English it would be Last National Exam. UAN is like some exams that u have to pass in order to continue ur study to the next level. for example, if u're in elementary school and u wanna go to junior highschool, u have to pass UAN. or if u're in junior highschool and u wanna go to senior highschool, u have to pass UAN. or if u're in senior highschool and u wanna go to college and university, u have to pass UAN.
sounds like a good strategy of education, isn't it?
but for real, it's not good. at all.
until now, after I did UAN 3 times, which I pass 2 of them with great marks and still waiting for the result for my last UAN, I still don't understand why we have to do this UAN thighy

well, the thing is, the system inside of the whole education system in Indonesia is a mess, I think. I wrote here before about how bad my school is and how it's still the best gov't school in my city. and there's no different with this UAN system.

so, UAN consists of 3 subjects: math, Bahasa Indonesia, and English. this year's UAN's standard is the students have to get a minimum of 4.26 out of 10 for every subject and have to get an average of 4.5 for all those 3. really low? yes, indeed! the standard is really low... I mean, why would student who get 4,26 in his/her math final exam expect to study in a university? and why would we dream about a better Indonesia if the students only pass Bahasa Indonesia with 4.25 marks? I really don't get it!
I mean, it seems like the gov't forces the students to do UAN, becoz it's a tradition. it seems like Indonesia is gonna b embarrased if we don't do UAN. or it's not professional.
but, sadly, the truth was, almost everybody freak out becoz of that standard.
the students thought, "if I fail, I'm gonna be really embarrased and I have to do my whole grade once again, because there's no more remedial this year."
the teachers thought, "If my students fail, I'm gonna be really embarrased coz everyone would think I fail on teaching what I supposed to teach to my students. then I have to teach the same thing to the same students all over again."
the school thought, "if the students in my school fail, everyone will think that my school is a bad school. my school has failed on creating a bright students. and then I'm gonna have less money, becoz there's gonna be less new students to accept..."

and what do they do to solve this problem?
hmm... there are two ways that ppl usually take: good way and bad way...
it all depends on the ppl. if u're a good person, u can take the good way. but the bad person usually takes tha bad way.
let me explain...
the good way, is like this:
the students: they study hard. trying many questions, taking extra lessons in many places, asking their teachers about what they don't understand, and so on, and so forth.
the teachers: they are as excited and as nervous as their students. they gave the students lots of questions to practice. they are 'there' to help their students. they give the students extra lessons. an so on. and so forth.
the school: they facilitate the students and the teacher anything. they copied hundreds of papers which are full with questions. they provide classes. almost everything...
well, the 'good way' sounds good... and sounds more like a real thing...
but, what actually happened is this: the bad way...
students: they don't study. what for? they're just gonna wait for their other friends who study hard to give them the answers. or from the teachers who r gonna provide them with the answers.
teachers: they're just scared as hell that their students won't pass. so they tell their students that they don't have to fill in their answer sheets, coz they're the one who are gonna do that.
schools: they provide the students with a team of teachers who are gonna write the exams, instead of the students.

it is so pathetic. even ppl in the education system lost their idealism!!!

as I said before, until now, I don't understand why we still have to do UAN in Indonesia...

and, before I conclude anything, I just have to tell you this...
I watched tv last saturday. there was some investigation news about UAN. it showed how one school actually did cheating. the teachers did the exams... and all that... and there's this one guy from the education department, he actually works for the govn't, and he said, "Saya rasa tidak mungkin terjadi kebocoran soal atau terjadi kecurangan lain seperti adanya tim sukses, atau apalah. hal itu hanya rumor yang kemudian diberitakan di media dan menjadi besar..." and I thought to myself, where the hell does he work all this time? where the hell does he live? is he blind? or is he deaf? can he see the real thing? I really wonder!

my conclusion is, I really have to be the minister of education!!!