Pages

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the
rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music
won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it
slower
Hear the music
Before the song is
over.

I got this poem which created by a lil girl who suffers cancer from my friend Jo.
I think it's a good poem, so I posted it here...

Sunday, April 23, 2006

about last night...

well, last night I was out with one of my girl friends... She was one of the best... She understands me, she knows what I mean for most of the time...
So we got into talking... we chat along... it was fun to talk with her again...
first, she told me about a guy she likes. she told me all kinds of things, he was really kind to her, he let her to have his umbrella, and all that sorts of things... She said he melted her down...
I said, if I met a guy as kind as him, I would feel the same way too...
and then she asked me, "How about the love of ur life?"
I was kinda confused when I heard her saying that... the love of my life??? who?? do I have one???

well, because I haven't talk to her for such a long time, I told her about a guy that I like... yeah, if u read my blog from the first time I wrote something, y'know that I actually have a crush one someone... a guy that out of my reach now, eventhough he's that close with me...
so I told her about him, my crush...
I told her that he's not handsome... I never thought that he's handsome, but there's just something in him that makes my heart stop beating for one very quick second... everytime we talk, I feel that I act really weird in front of him so that he laughs at me, but becoz he never laughs out loud, he smiles... and when he smiles, it reminds me how charming he can be... and how I can have a crush on him...
I told her that I actually don't really know why I can have a crush on him...
He was so cold to me... He never really said anything that he really means to me... I mean, we talk, yes, but the topics we talk about usually don't really mean anything to us... I don't know, I really don't know how to describe it.

she asked me, "what do you actually want from him, alien?"
guess what I said, "I don't know!" Yep! I said I don't know... I mean, what the hell am I looking for actually? what do I want from him?
do I want him to be my boyfriend? I don't think so... I don't wanna be his girlfriend, coz I know it's very unacceptable in what he believes in... and I don't wanna change someone's ideology just becoz of me... well, NO! I don't want him 2b my bf!
do I want him to say "I love you, Alien..."? NO! coz the words 'I love you' are just bullshit, I think, when u say it before u get married or u say it to the ppl outside ur family.
do I want him to say "I like you too, alien..."? well, probably... wait! I don't know!!! I don't fuckin' know!!! if he says it, then what? what do I do? what's the next step from there? what's going to happen? what's my plan? shit! I don't know!
what do I actually want???
probably, I just want him to show me that he cares for me...

my friend said that I probably get obsessed with him...
I laughed. but then, I thought of it again... maybe it's true... maybe I'm obsessed... maybe I dream of him too much...
but why? why can this happen? is this right? is this normal? is this wrong? is this unsual?
I said to my friend, "probably it'll be easier if I was the guy and he was the girl..."

and then she said again, "probably u were created by God for him..."
I laughed. she said, "u r one of his friends... with u having crush on him, it's an indication that he actually lives in the real world... I mean, his life has been pretty much straight... it seems like he lives in a fantasy world... U actually help him to realise that he lives..."
hahaha! it's really hyperbolic... but I agree with some part of what she said. He lives in a straight world. He has a dream, he works hard to get it, he gets his dream, the end. there's no such thing like, he falls, he's hurt, he's lazy, he's having fun... his life has been too straight...
probably there's a lil devil in me that's trying to help him make a lil turn to the left side of the road... like doing something crazy or stupid...

well, anyway, we didn't create any conclusion from our conversation last night... and I don't wanna make a personal conclusion myself... It was a great chat... more like my confession to her than any other thing, really... and she helped me a little, with saying "probably u're obsessed with him." probably it's true...
yeah, probably I'll just have to go with the flow... or probably I just have to forget him... or probably not... he kinda spiced up my life... so I don't have to think that I'm gonna have a chemistry and religion pre test tomorrow... hahaha!

I sometimes thought that does he really care to me? does he know that I have a crush on him? does he ever want to talked to me? does he ever think ahead about what he's gonna say to me? does he care if don't know what to say to him? does he ever think of me????
hmmm... interesting...

American Idol

I just watched American Idol and I fell in love with the songs.... I love them!!! never knew that Rod Stewart is an amazing singer... aaaahhhh, poor me!!!

Rod Stewart - These Foolish Things

A cigarette that bears a lipsticks traces
An airline ticket to romantic places
And still my heart has wings
These foolish things remind me of you
A tinkling piano in the next apartment
Those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant
A fairgrounds painted swing
These foolish things remind me of you
You came, you saw and you conquered me
When you did that to me, I knew somehow this had to be
The winds of March that make my heart a dancer
A telephone that rings, but who's to answer
Or how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things remind me of you
The scent of smoldering leaves
The vail of steamers
Two lovers on their street
Who walk like dreamers
Or how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things remind me of you
How strange, how sweet, to find you still
These things are dear to me, they seem to bring you so near to me
The sigh of midnight trains in empty stations,
Silk stockings thrown aside, dance invitations
Or how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things remind me of you

this song was sung by Paris Bennet. the 17 years old girl who has amazing voice in such a young age... I like her childish style...

Rod Stewart - It Had To Be You

Why do I do, just as you say
Why must I just, give you your way
Why do I sigh, why don't I try to forget
It must have been something lovers call fate
Kept me saying: "I have to wait"
I saw them all, just couldn't fall 'til we met
It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found the somebody who
Could make me be true, could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad thinking of you
Some others I've seen, might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill with all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you
It had to be you
Some others I've seen, might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill with all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you
It had to be you
It had to be you, woah wonderful you
It had to be you

well, this cool guy named Elliot Yamin sang this song on the American Idol... and I don't know what happened, but I really like him. I always like every song that he sings... I think couple weeks ago he sang Gavin DeGraw's I Don't Wanna Be and I love that song so much now... It's even on my cell's mp3... I really like him... I like the soul whenever he sings soul... I like him...

and this is my most favourite song of the night!!!!

Rod Stewart - What A Wonderful World

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day and the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"
I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"
I hear my babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever ever know
And I think to myself, it's a wonderful world
I think to myself, what a wonderful world
What a wonderful world
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I know it's an old song... but I really like the lyrics... read it and think about it... it's really great... It reminds u of a wonderful world we live in... plus, this song was sung by coolest Chris Daughtry!!! of my gosh! I really like him. I like it since the day he first entered the American Idol and he steped out to sing rock songs.... I do like rock songs too and I think it's unusual for the American Idol contestants to sing rock songs, coz most of them sing pop or some easy listening songs... but he really stands out! I like the fact that he's almost bald... I love his hair style!!! well, I just love his style basically... and when he sang this song... whoa!!! I just love him even more!!! He's just a type of guy that I'm looking for: love hard rock, but can sing a mellow one...

I'm literally melting....
Melting

Friday, April 21, 2006

mencintai Itu sebuah keputusan...

I got an e-mail from a friend: Irma Herdianti...
a nice one... tapi aku gak gitu suka ama bahasa ceritanya (what's 'mengejahwantahkan' again?)... tapi ceritanya bagus kok... jadi baca aja ya...

Bekal kesadaran bagi yang ingin mencintai ...
Mencintai Itu Keputusan
Karya : Anis Matta

Lelaki tua menjelang 80-an itu menatap istrinya. Lekat-lekat. Nanar. Gadis itu masih terlalu belia. Baru saja mekar. Ini bukan persekutuan yang mudah. Tapi ia sudah memutuskan untuk mencintainya. Sebentar kemudian ia pun berkata,"Kamu kaget melihat semua ubanku?Percayalah! Hanya kebaikan yang kamu temui di sini". Itulah kalimat pertama Utsman bin Affan ketika menyambut istriterakhirnya dari Syam, Naila.

Selanjutnya adalah bukti.
Sebab cinta adalah kata lain dari memberi.
sebab memberi adalah pekerjaan..
sebab pekerjaan cinta dalam siklus memperhatikan, menumbuhkan,merawat dan melindungi itu berat.
sebab pekerjaan berat itu harus ditunaikan dalam waktu lama.
sebab pekerjaan berat dalam waktu lama begitu hanya mungkin dilakukan oleh mereka yang memiliki kepribadian kuat dan tangguh.
maka setiap orang hendaklah berhati-hati saat ia mengatakan, "Aku mencintaimu". Kepada siapapun!
Sebab itu adalah keputusan besar. Ada taruhan kepribadian disitu.
Aku mencintaimu, adalah ungkapan lain dari Aku ingin memberimu sesuatu.
Yang terakhir ini juga adalah ungkapan lain dari....., "Aku akan memperhatikan dirimu dan semua situasimu untuk mengetahuiapa yang kamu butuhkan untuk tumbuh menjadi lebih baik dan bahagia..."
"aku akan bekerja keras untuk memfasilitasi dirimu agar bisa tumbuh semaksimal mungkin..." "aku akan merawat dengan segenap kasih sayangku proses pertumbuhan dirimu melalui kebajikan harian yang akan kulakukan padamu ..."
"aku juga akan melindungi dirimu dari segala sesuatu yang dapatmerusak dirimu...."
Dan proses pertumbuhan itu taruhannya adalah kepercayaan orang yangkita cintai terhadap integritas kepribadian kita.

Sekali kamu mengatakan kepada seseorang, "Aku mencintaimu", kamu harus membuktikan ucapan itu.
Itu deklarasi jiwa bukan saja tentang rasa suka dan ketertarikan,tapi terutama tentang kesiapan dan kemampuan memberi, kesiapan dankemampuan berkorban, kesiapan dan kemampuan pekerjaan-pekerjaan cinta: memperhatikan, menumbuhkan, merawat dan melindungi.
Sekali deklarasi cinta tidak terbukti, kepercayaan hilang lenyap.
Tidak ada cinta tanpa kepercayaan. Begitulah bersama waktu suami atau istri kehilangan kepercayaan kepada pasangannya. Atau anak kehilangankepercayaan kepada orang tuanya. Atau sahabat kehilangan kepercayaan kepada kawannya. Atau rakyat kehilangan kepercayaan kepada pemimpinnya.
Semua dalam satu situasi: cinta yang tidak terbukti.
Ini yang menjelaskan mengapa cinta yang terasa begitu panas membara di awal hubungan lantas jadi redup dan padam pada tahun kedua, ketiga, keempat dan seterusnya.
Dan tiba-tiba saja perkawinan bubar, persahabatan berakhir, keluarga berantakan, atau pemimpin jatuh karena tidak dipercaya rakyatnya.

Jalan hidup kita biasanya tidak linear. Tidak juga seterusnya pendakian. Atau penurunan. Karena itu, konteks di mana pekerjaan-pekerjaan cinta dilakukan tidak selalu kondusif secara emosional.
Tapi disitulah tantangannya: membuktikan ketulusan di tengahsituasi-situasi yang sulit. Di situ konsistensi teruji. Di situ juga integritas terbukti. Sebab mereka yang bisa mengejawantahkan cinta di tengah situasi yang sulit, jauh lebih bisa membuktikannya dalam waktu yang longgar.
Mereka yang dicintai dengan cara begitu, biasanya mengatakan bahwa hati dan jiwanya penuh seluruh. Bahagia sebahagia-bahagianya. Puas sepuas-puasnya. Sampai tak ada tempat bagi yang lain.
Bahkan setelah sang pencinta mati.

Begitulah Naila. Utsman telah memenuhi seluruh jiwanya dengan cinta. Maka ia memutuskan untuk tidak menikah lagi setelah suaminyaterbunuh. Ia bahkan merusak wajahnya untuk menolak semua pelamarnya. Tak ada yang dapat mencintai sehebat lelaki tua itu

Thursday, April 20, 2006

nationalism???

alrite... kali ini, aku nulis pake bahasa Indonesia... bahasa ibuku.... bahasa yang dapat mempersatukan bangsaku... tapi maafin ya kalo bahasanya nanti campur2 sama bahasa Inggris...

gini ceritanya.... makin banyak aja orang yang mencecer aku soal ini.... masalah nasionalisme...
mungkin sebenernya maksud mereka bukan kikin aku terpojok sama masalah nasionalisme-ku atau gimana... tapi hal itulah yang aku tangkap dan sekarang mau aku jadiin tulisan...

kalo temen2ku yang suka baca blog-ku dari awal blog ini aku tulis, mreka pasti inget aku pernah nulis ttg seorang temen yang marahin aku karena kebanyakan aku nulis pake bhs Inggris... temenku itu marah dan nanya ke aku knp aku nulis pake bhs inggris mlulu... apa aku gak cinta bahasa Indonesia?
waktu itu, aku jawab kalo aku cinta bahasa Indonesia... aku nulis kebanyakan pake bahasa inggris karena aku pengen aja... ini kan blogku, terserah aku dong...
sekarang, aku mau nambahin, aku pengen bilang kalau aku cinta banget sama bahasa Indonesia... kecuali soal2 bahasa Indonesia yang dibuat untuk UAN, aku benci sekali sama itu!!! susah gila!!! other than that, aku cinta kok ama bahasa Indonesia... buktinya, aku ngomong di skolah, di izi, ato dimana2 masih kebanyakan pake bhs Indonesia kok... kalo aku bikin sebuah karya tulis untuk memuaskan hasratku, aku nulis pake bahasa Indonesia kok... bukan pake bahasa Inggris...
apa dengan menunjukkan aku cinta bahasa Indonesia aku bisa 'dimaafkan' dan bisa diakui sebagai orang yang punya rasa nasionalisme yang tinggi???

trus lagi, masalah yang berkaitan dengan postingku sebelumnya...
aku kan ngehina-hina (literally) sekolah2 di Indonesia, ada temenku yang bilang gini, "kenapa sih lu, alien? kok kayaknya sentimen banget ama kuliah di Indonesia? enggak sejelek itu ah..."
huahahaha! hanya itu yg bisa aku lakuin... ketawa...
aku? sentimen? hehehehe!
well, menurut aku sih, aku gak sentimen, I only tell the truth... I have tasted a better life in a better school, I compared it, and I told everyone about it... that's it...
maksud aku sih cuman gitu doang... maksud aku sih cman curhat... tapi, klo ada yang nangkepnya beda, what can I say...? terserah orang aja mo nganggep aku kyk gmn... aku sih enggak peduli... yang membangun aku ambil, yang menjatuhkan aku lupain... that simple...
nah, emangnya kalo aku jadi berubah pikiran dan gak jadi pengen kuliah di luar negeri aku bisa dimaafkan dan diakui punya rasa nasionalisme yang tinggi????

beberapa hari yang lalu, Persib (grup sepakbolanya Bandung) main di kandang sendiri. Peringkat persib di klasemen sementara udah jeleeeeeeek banget... nah, kemaren, persib maen lawan PSDS (grup sepakbola Deli Serdang) yang peringkatnya lebih jelek dibandingkan persib, terbawah malah. hasilnya? persib kalah. aku ketawa ngakak. aku bilang, "persib jelek benget deh! udah gitu teh masih banyak yang ngedukung lagi! kenapa sih? aku mah gak ngerti..."
trus temenku bilang, "Kan bobotoh(pendukung Persib)... cinta Bandung..."
aku ketawa lebih keras... apa yang jelek juga harus didukung? masalahnya, aku kadang2 juga suka males bermimpi... kayak misalnya, aku gak pernah mimpi bisa liat tim Indonesia main di piala dunia... I mean, get real! kalo pemain sepak bola Indonesia segede Ade Ray dan seloyal pemain sepak bolah tingkat dunia kayak Rooney, Pierro, Ronaldinho, dll, sih pantes buat bermimpi... tapi kalo kondisinya kayak sekarang, wake freakin' up!!!
apa kalo aku ngedukung persib aku bisa dimaafkan dan diakui punya rasa nasionalisme yang tinggi???

this is the funny part:
aku tau kok kalo akhir2 ini banyaaaaaakkk banget lagu Indonesia baru... band2 indonesia baru dengan lagu2 baru mereka.... biasa lah... ada lagu yang menurut aku bagus dan ada yang enggak... ada band yang menurut aku bagus, ada juga yang menurut aku enggak layak... biasalah... itu kan cuma menurut aku, pendapat aku, sebuah opini seorang individu...
terus, aku bilang hal itu ke temen2ku... temenku ada yang nyanyi lagu Dewa, aku bilang "Aku benci lagi itu!". pas ada single Samsons yang ketiga, aku bilang, "Yah... Samsons kok lagunya kayak gini... mellow2 smua... padahal aku udah suka single Samsons yang Naluri Lelaki, taunya single berikutnya letoy2 smua...". temenku ada yang nyanyi lagu Ello, aku bilang, "Aku benci lagu itu..." Nah, tiba2 temenku ada yang komentar, "Alien mah... lagu Indonesia apa sih yang alien suka???"
Aku rasa, hal itu lucu banget!
Habis seorang temenku itu nanya gitu ke aku, temen2ku yang lain pada heboh nyari2 penyanyi Indonesia yang kira2 aku suka. "Alien suka Tompi... Sandy suka gak alien...?" Banyak band dan penyanyi yang disebutin sama temen2ku... aku-nya sih ketawa2 aja...
Lucu banget gak sih? ini kan masalah selera aja... kadang, aku gak suka lagu yang slow2... kadang juga aku ngrasa kalo lagu2 yang dinyanyiin orang Indonesia gak ada isinya sama skali... bukannya aku sok bisa bikin lagu... tapi, sebagai penikmat musik, boleh dong aku milih2 lagu apa yang aku suka dan aku pengen dengerin??? salah emangnya ya?
terus, kalau aku suka semua lagu Indonesia, apa aku dimaafkan dan diakui klo aku punya rasa nasionalisme yang tinggi???

aku jadi penasaran, emangnya menurut orang lain, seberapa besar sih rasa nasionalisme yang aku punya? sebegitu terlihatnyakah kebencianku terhadap negaraku sendiri karena aku suka maki2 sistem kerja pemerintah, padahal kalau aku yang disuruh jadi pegawai pemerintah juga aku belum tentu bisa??? aku emang bener2 gak nganggep negaraku sendiri apa ya??? Sejelek itukah rasa nasionalisme yang aku punya?

gimana dengan rasa nasionalisme para koruptor? mereka asik aja ngambilin uang orang banyak tanpa mikir apa yang bakalan terjadi dengan rakyat yang uangnya mereka ambilin... gimana dengan nasionalisme polisi2 yang nangkring di perempatan jalan dan nyari2 kesalahan pengendara mobil/motor? mereka suka nangkepin pengguna jalan terus bersedia dibayar duapuluh ribu doang buat ngebenerin yang salah dan nyalahin yang bener, padahal mereka pake seragam polisi yang gagah dan mereka HARUSNYA membawa nama baik negara... gimana dengan nasionalisme para pendemo macem2? yang bolak-balik demo ttg berbagai macam hal yang sebenernya mereka juga gak ngerti. mereka demo sambil ngejek2 pemerintah, atau siapalah yang mereka demo, mereka gak mikir kalo nama Indonesia bisa jelek gara2 kebanyakan demo? gimana dengan nasionalisme orang2 yang berusaha bikin koalisi anti Delon di Indonesian Idol I? orang2 yang katanya mau ngesms buat Delon sebanyak-banyaknya, biar Delon juara Indonesian Idol I dan biar Delon dikirim buat World Idol, trus Delon suaranya jelek, terus Delon malu di kontes dunia itu... mereka gak mikir apa kalau nama Indonesia juga yang jadi jelek? Apa rasa nasionalisme aku serendah orang2 yang aku sebutin diatas? atau malah lebih jelek? cuman gara2 aku gak suka nulis di blogku pake bahasa Indonesia atau gara2 aku gak mau kuliah di Indonesia atau gara2 aku sebel ama persib atau bahkan gara2 aku banyak gak suka ama lagu2 Indonesia????

hahaha! aku sih cuma bisa ketawa rasanya....

terserah apa kata orang... yang jelas, salah satu cita2 besarku adalah jadi menteri pendidikan Indonesia... biar aku bisa memperbaiki sistem pendidikan Indonesia... biar bisa bikin semua orang Indonesia pinter... biar bisa merubah cita2 orang Indonesia, kalau sekarang cita2 orang Indonesia cuma gimana caranya ngelunasin utang luar negeri Indonesia, cita2 orang2 Indonesia dimasa yang akan datang adalah gimana caranya dapat hadiah nobel... coba, ada gak sih anak2 Indonesia sekarang yang punya cita2 dpt hadiah nobel??? AKu percaya kalau dari sistem pendidikannya udah baik, insyaallah yang lain2nya ngikutin kok...
inget kan cerita kaisar Jepang saat Nagasaki dan Hiroshima baru di bom? Kaisar nyari berapa banyak guru yang tersisa biar bisa ngebantuin pemerintah ngebangun Jepang kembali....

aku ngerasa kok kalo rasa nasionalisme itu sangat2 dibutuhin buat ngebangun suatu negara... dan aku akan ngebuktiin ke orang2 klo aku juga punya rasa nasionalisme yang tinggi dengan cara ngebangun Indonesia kembali... emang kedengerannya muluk2... dan berapa banyak sih anak2 yang bercita2 untuk ngebangun Indonesia di masa depan? but whatever people say, I don't give a damn... I don't fuckin' care... I'm the one who's gonna live in my dream, not other people...
kalo mo ngebantu, minimal bantuin aku dengan doa aja udah cukup kok...

for my friends all over the world...

I got this via email from my german friends: Katja and Elisa...
It's realy sweet, I think... so I copied it and I pasted it here... and I dedicated this to all of my friends... u're all gave me different meaning of life... hope u guys like this too....

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season .

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime!

Lisa Loeb

altough it's an old song, but this song is really me...
the story in this song is kinda similar to what happens to me...
it's just... hmmm...
the different is, the guy that is being described by Lisa Loeb says "stay" when she's leaving...
while a guy that I like won't say "stay" if I go...

Lisa Loeb - Stay

You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talks all the time so
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leavin'
Now I know that I did somethin' wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah, yeah, I missed you
And you say I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention
To the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care
I'm only hearing negative
No, no, nos
So I, I turn the radio on, I turn the radio up
And this woman was singin' my song
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover while we weep for the other who was
Dyin' since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwin', but I'm thrown
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you
You said that I was naive
And I thought that I was strong, oh
I thought, "Hey I can leave, I can leave"
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, cause I missed you
Yeah, I missed you
You said, you caught me cause you want me*
And one day you let me go
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
Cause you know you're just so scared to lose
And you say, "Stay"
You say I only hear what I want to

I'm thinking... just thinking... out of my curiosity, if a guy that I like says "Stay" to me, will I listen to him? or will I just go?

shit! what the hell is wrong with me?!!!

Jack Johnson

Lagu keren nih!!! lagu yang optimis banget... musiknya juga enakeun!
kalo mo tau lagunya kayak gimana, dengerin prambors deh! lagu ini paling sering diputer di prambors daripada lagu2 laen soalnya.... di putusss tuh sering banget....
okay? dengerin yak! enjoy!

Jack Johnson - Upside Down

Who's to say what's impossible?
Well, they forgot this world keeps spinnin'
And with each new day, I can feel a change in everything.
And as the surface breaks, reflections fade,
but in some ways they remain the same.
And as my mind begins to spread its wings,
there's no stopping curiosity.
I want to turn the whole thing upside down.
I'll find the things they say just can't be found.
I'll share this love I find with everyone.
We'll sing and dance to mother nature's songs.
I don't want this feeling to go away.
Who's to say I can't do everything?
Well, I can try.
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem
I want to turn the whole thing upside down.
I'll find the things they say just can't be found.
I'll share this love I find with everyone.
We'll sing and dance to mother nature's songs.
This world keeps spinnin' and there's no time to waste
Well it all keeps spinnin', spinnin', 'round and 'round and
Upside down, who's to say what's impossible and can't be found?
I don't want this feeling to go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Is this how it's supposed to be?
Is this how it's supposed to be?

Sunday, April 02, 2006

tabah ya, Mira....

Pagi ini, sekitar jam sepuluh, aku dapet telepon dari temen mamaku. Temen mamaku itu bilang kalo papany temenku, Mira, meninggal. temen mamaku ini, Bu Mimin, adalah temen papanya mira waktu sma.
I was shock! I literally said many swear words at that time. it was a bad reflex, I know...
but I was really shock!
Papanya mira itu masih muda. aku gak tau berapa umur pastinya, tapi umurnya blum nyampe 50 taun. too young too die...?
aku kaget banget juga karena Mira gak pernah cerita2 klo papanya sakit. Well, she said once klo papanya sakit jantung dan pernah di operasi sekali, klo gak salah dipasang ring sekali... but that was it. She never said anything other than that...
I met her last week, when Ditta-one of my friends-and I gave her a birthday present. She was busy with the uts(ujian tengah smstr), she looked happy, she was basically fine.
Tapi tadi pagi, pas aku denger berita ttg meninggalnya papanya, pas aku langsung nelepon Mira, mira nangis. She was crying out loud, literally. It was really sad.... Mira bilang klo papanya meninggal pagi2, habis subuh gitu, dan papanya meninggal ditangannya... shit! can u imagine how sad that was???? She was crying...
I fuckin' didn't know what to do... Rasanya aku pengen banget terbang ke tempat mira berada pas aku nelepon dya dan meluk dya... shit! sedih banget!!!!

Mira itu anak pertama dari dua bersodara. Mira 19 taun dan adiknya Feby (or Febby, or Febi? I'm not sure...) 14 taun, yup! mreka dua-duanya cewek. Sama banget situasinya sama aku dan adekku. Ibunya Mira kerja, tapi skarang aku gak tau kerja ibunya apa... zaman dulu ibunya ngajar di sekolah kepribadian gitu... skarang apaan ya?
anyway... itu sedikit ttg Mira dan kluarganya...
aku langsung ngebayangin kalo papaku yang meninggal... oh shit!! aku sebenernya gak mampu ngebayanginnya dgn bener. Kalau aja aku ada di posisi Mira... wah... udah... bubar smua... I mean, mamaku gak kerja... mungkin papaku punya simpanan buat hidup, tapi ttp aja hidup aku dan kluargaku pasti jadi bedaaaaaa banget....
mungkin adekku udah gak bisa skolah di Sekolah Global Jaya...
mungkin aku harus hapus smua impianku buat sekolah di luar negeri....
mungkin aku dan kluargaku gak bisa lagi ngebantuin banyak orang2 scara finansial...
mungkin aku dan kluagaku udah gak bisa lagi banyak hura2 seperti skarang, blanja-blanji, makan di cafe2 mahal, jalan2 ke mall, pokoknya ngabis2in duit bwt yg g penting2....
mungkin juga gak akan se-ekstrem itu... tapi tetep aja....
gak ada papa.... holy!!! I can't even dream about it....
jadi inget waktu esq.... waktu aku nangis-se-nangis-nya gara2 keinget mati... fuck!!! I hate that sad feeling....

well, malem ini, waktu Mira, keluarganya, dan jenazah papanya dateng dari Madiun (papanya emang dinas di Madiun), aku dateng...
ketemu ama Mira yang nangis banget... ketemu ama adiknya yang udah capek banget nangis kayaknya, jadi diem aja dengan muka yang sediiiiiiiihhhhh banget, dan ketemu ama mamanya Mira yang nangisnya gila-gilaan. it was soooooo sad to saw them crying....
After I met them once, I went outside waiting for my two other friends. While waiting outside, I explored some stuff...
it as really funny, I think... masalahnya gini, aku ke rumah Mira itu buat bilangin aku turut berduka cita atas meninggalnya papa Mira... tapi kayaknya beberapa orang punya motif lain deh....
satu ibu, dengan hebohnya cerita2 kemana2. stiap ada yg nanya suaminya kmana, dya blg klo suaminya lg mandi dulu. tanpa ada yang nanya kenapa, dengan lagaknya dya ngejelasin klo dya dan suaminya baru pulang esq, trus ngejemput jenazah di stasiun, baru si ibu kesini dan suaminya pulang dulu. yang aku gak ngerti, knapa ibu itu repot2 ngejelasin dan dengan tegas mengulang2 klo dya hbs ikutan esq. emang knp klo dya hbs ikutan esq? bangga??? hehehe!
trs banyak ibu dan bapak lainnya malah ngobrolin anak mreka. "anak ibu yang paling besar skarang dimana?" hahhhh??? aneh? yah... gitu deh... gak ngerti aku juga... smoga sebenernya niat mreka lurus buat Mira dan keluarganya....
banyak juga ibu2 yang dandan abis!!! (saking dandannya sampe abis... hehehe! naon sih alien???) aku enggak ngerti... kan critanya mo nengokin orang yang meninggal, tapi ibu2 itu sempet2-nya make kalung dan gelang emas yang banyak dan matching... kamana atuh ibu...???
ada juga ibu2 yang rambutnya di cat merah ke-pink-an yang pake kerudung dengan poni yang keliatan trus pake syal/scarf yang kayaknya niatnya buat nutupin lehernya, tapi lehernya ttp aja keliatan... hehehe! kamana atuh ibu....?
ada juga temen2 sekampusnya mira... anak2 SBM ITB yang gaul2 gitu.... ceritanya kan mo nengokin orang yg meninggal, tapi pake kaos pendek ngetat plus celana yang turun2 mlulu dan nunjukin clana dalam atau boxer mreka.... kamana atuh gaya....?
blm lagi anak2 SBM itu malah ngomongin yang aneh2.... cengengesan gak jelas... orang lagi berduka.... blum lg mreka pada main hp, telepon sana-sini, sms sana-sini, hp-nya sama skali gak di silent lagi... jadi suaranya brisik....

tapi aku nulis kayak gini juga bukan karena aku adalah anak terbaik sedunia...
buktinya, harusnya aku dateng ke rumah mira bwt turut berduka cita, aku malah sibuk merhatiin orang2 yang dateng.... suudzon lagi... parah ya???
trus pas tmn2 aku dateng, kita malah ngomongin anak2 SBM... hehehe... gosip... lebih parah...?

hah!!! sdih banget ya.... sdm Indonesia.... yah kayak aku ini contohnya... parah.... gak sadar2... gak tau tujuan hidup....
loh??? kok maksud tulisannya jadi melenceng kemana2...???

well, skali lagi, yang tabah ya, Mira.... sabar.... papa kamu udah dipanggil Allah karena berarti tugasnya udah selesai... katanya orang yang dipanggil Allah waktu masih muda orang baik.... walopun gak smuanya, tapi smoga aja papamu bener orang baik di mata Allah... yang ngelayat bwat papa kamu banyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk banget.... jalan sersan bajuri ampe macet, bunga2 juga banyyyyyaaaakkkk, ucapan belasungkawa juga bejibun.... aku jadi makin yakin klo papa kamu emang orang baik... amin....
smoga mira dan kluarga di kasih kesabaran...
jangan lupa mira harus jadi anak yang sukses!!! mira anak pertama, udah gak ada papa yang bisa jadi andalan keluarga.... artinya mira harus bisa ngebatuin mama buat ngejaga keutuhan keluarga....
oh shit!!! it's so fuckin' sad!!!

Mira.... klo ada apa2 telepon aku ya.... all you gotta do is call and I'll be there, coz you've got friends....