Friday, September 30, 2005

hmmm... I got another problem about people...
I just realised that most of the people in the world never satisfy with all they've got, myself included.
One simple example is at school...
I think it's really hard to get a good mark at school. but still, there are some people that have talent to have good marks. When they got 8,5 or 85%, they still feel that it's not enough. They said they got a bad mark, eventhough other people can hardly pass with 5 or 50%. I'm not sure what is these kinds of people's intentions. I mean, to get 8.5 oor 85% is great. It's hard to be that good in school and when u got into that point, why don't u just say thank God? why don't u just feel satisfy with urself and all u've got?
or another example in me...
I never felt that I have enough t-shirt to wear. I always have a feeling that I always wear the same clothes everyday. I feel that my clothes are boring... I always wanna buy new clothes. I never feel satisfy with my clothes. It's crazy coz: 1. I don't earn my own money, it means I always wanna spend my parents money and 2. I really have to learn how to feel satisfy with what I got.
U guys must've known this saying: "ask God for what u need, not for what u want" or sumthin like that. I mean, that saying is pretty much only the theory, it's hard to practice it.
Learn how to satisfy with all I've got, learn how to thank God with everything that God gave me, learn and learn... It seems like I have loads of homework to do...
I thought I knew all about it before. I thought I understand that there are several kinds of people in this world. That's just what I thought.
There are so many proof that show characters from different kinds of people is the most unbelievable thing to be search about, to be learn about.
for example the thing about this increasing price of gas(or petro, or whatever u usually call it). This thing drives everyone crazy!
People do demonstration; they refuse that increasing price. I mean, wake up people! what- freakin'-ever u'd do, it's gonna change nothing! the government just won't listen to u. they have their power, and that's what they'll do. we basically can't change anything.
I think the only thing we can do is work harder and harder. If we all work really-really hard (I mean really hard), Indonesia is gonna b a successful country. Come on, we got all the nature sources! We have the most beautiful country in the world!if we work hard, we don't need all those money from the government. we are the ones who give money to our country, with lots of proud-of course.
The thing with people is today situation. I don't know why, but it seems like many people like to do useless thing. that demonstration thingy is the most useless thing that people have ever done-in my opinion. One more thing is, there is this one person that say our president(SBY) is no longer gonna keep his chair as a president, becoz he decided to increase the price of gas twice in one year. I mean, come on people! we all know that SBY won the vote as a president last year. It means that most people in Indonesia choose him. Which means that most people in Indonesia believe him, have faith in him. And now, whe he's trying to do his jobs, what does he get? only a freakin' mock!!!
see that one useless thing? If many people say that SBY is no longer gonna b a president, why did they vote? that's just make voting as one of that useless thing, isn't?
Also, if there's no one who's gonna stay as a president for more than a year, how can we all become a sucessful country? it's like never!!!
people? amit-amit!!!!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

This thing makes me fuckin' angry!
is there any such thing as age disrimination?!
I mean, honestly I hate being 18. It's hard! especially when u're 18 and still in highschool. ooohhh!!! I hate the fact that I'm fuckin' 18 now!
The thing is, there's this writing competition that I wanna join in, but the range of age is between 13-17-year-old. see how sucks that is?
Where the hell have I been when I was between the age of 13-17?
I know that I am fuckin' 18 now. I am an adult legally... but my spirit, mentally, I'm not ready being judge as a 18-year-old girl.
I hate it! so, I'm 18, so what?
how come I can't join that writing competition?
How come it's not appropriate to love cartun sooo much?
How come I have to think about all of my future right now?
How come I have to make a decision about life now?
Do I really-really have to face this fuckin' life by myself?
Do I really-really have to protect my image and become the goody-goody?
It's tiring! believe me!
wish I could've done everything I want without concerning about what other people think... It must've been heaven!

Monday, September 26, 2005

do u have parents that have high expectation?
but yet they extremly trust you so that it makes u confuse about what to do?
I mean... they expect u to do something and be the best at it, but yet they don't actually know what u're facing so they give it all 2 u, until the result comes and u don't actually become the best and they upset about it...
well, I guess I make it all more confusing.
The thing is, my dad trust me so bad.(I mean it's not bad to trust me, but he really-really trust me) In his mind, he believes that I can do many great things. So, he made a really high expectation about me. Which is kinda bad I think. The reasons are: first, i don't think he knows my ability, he just expect me to be able to do something. second, he sometimes doesn't ask what I think. He just told me what he thinks best for me, without asking me whether I like those things or not. third, his expectation makes me work hard(which is really good) but yet makes me feel that I HAVE to do it. It makes me feel that he forces me to do it(which I think is bad coz it makes me feel guilty if I fail to do it)
these things, makes me try so hard to make him proud of me. It's just he really is confident that I can do something, but I just don't have that much confident in me.
I know this is my life and I'm the one who's gonna get thru this and everything... but still, my parents are everything. They're my teachers, my friends, they're the people who I come running into if I have problems about everything. They're everything, they're basically my life too.
but hell, what do I do? do I have to follow their expectation until the last drip of my blood? I mean, I probably can do it, it's just I don't have that much self-confident in me, so it makes me affraid to fail. Do I just do what I want, no matter what my parents say? It's crazy though, I'm just so used to be a good girl and listen to what my parents said.
well, I guess that's what life is about. it's a bout choosing what's best for you. it's about deciding what u think d'best for urself. It's hard, but I guess that's the way life goes, that's where the excitement come from...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Ya ampun... akhirnya aku punya blogger juga...
smoga dengan aku punya blogger, aku bisa jadi tambah senang. tempat curhatannya nambah soalnya...
Insyaallah nanti-nantinya aku gak cuma nulis curhatan doang, tapi juga opini....
buat yang mo ngebaca, selamat baca... jangan lupa kasih komen, ok?

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Sometimes I like to think about it...
centralization(is that word really exist?) sucks so bad!
I mean, I do feel it in here, in Indonesia. If there's somethin goin on, Jakarta must get it first. For example, everytime there's a new movie comes out, Jakarta always get it first. After that movie's being played for like a month in Jakarta, then they send it to Bandung. Which means people in Bandung are a month late than people in Jakarta.
Guess what's the funny thing? people in Jakarta wonder why people in another area in Indonesia are kinda late in almost everything than themselves. They even sometimes make fun of people from another area.
This centralization drives me crazy. I think it's extremely unfair. People in Jakarta always got the latest news first, the newest thing first, and the most modern system first. Another example is the freakin' internet connection. People in Jakarta are happily using that wireless internet connection that doesn't use the phoneline, so you can phone your friend while you're browsing in the internet.
We don't have that in Bandung! many people don't even know that thing exist! Well, we actually have that wirless internet connection in Bandung, but only if ur home is located in a certain point in the city. see? that centralization thing again!!! Why do u have to live in a certain part of city to get the same service? how come the service doesn't cover the whole city? what's so special about living in a special part of the city? It's true that you get closer to the city center, so what? It's true that people pay certain higher number of tax(es) to live in some part of city, so what?
Why do we have to believe in centralism? there are so many disadvantages about it! Look at Indonesia, the government is concentrating in building Java island or even Jakarta for so long. The truth is: people in another area are being left out and forgotten.
guess what I've read once? If Indonesia's enemy wants to destroy Indonesia, They just have to bomb few places in Jakarta and (insyaallah) Indonesia will be forgotten forever.
see? centralization's sucks!!!